Do you know how easy it is to complain?
How much more common it is for people to complain, than to make an actual verbal statement that they’re fully satisfied with themselves/their circumstances/their situation/their experience/their meal/their service?
I often enjoy making a great waiter or waitress sweat a little, while I ask for their manager to come to our table just to give them a raving review. Not many people do this anymore. Or at least, not as many as those who would call the manager over to complain. So I make them sweat a little, so that they can feel good a LOT more.
I do it all the time, on purpose. Simply because I know it doesn’t happen as often. People will be incredibly satisfied with expectations thoroughly exceeded, and they may tell a friend or two, but will not shout it from the rooftops quite as loudly as if they’d had horrible service. It seems we’re far more likely to post a complaint or a hideous review on Yelp or even to our Facebook friends, than to share when the service has been exceptional.
This happens in our lives too. We complain about nearly everything; we appreciate hardly anything.
I’m aware of this concept and yet still I find ways to complain unconsciously.
If we’re away on vacation somewhere, I get frustrated with lines.
If we’re away for the weekend on a boating trip, I complain about the heat. (And in the winter, I complain about the cold.)
If my expectations weren’t met in some way, I catch a glimpse the anger gremlin.
But this life has so many things to appreciate. Simple, everyday things, but things nonetheless.
I have to pinch my arm every once in a while when I’m having a complain-y pants moment. Often these days, it’s when my kid is driving me a little bonkers. Somehow, all the beautiful, fun, hilarious, precious times seem hard to remember when she’s swatting me in the face and having a toddler meltdown.
It’s easy to focus on the negative. It’s just physically easier.
It’s easier to complain about someone behind their back, than to approach them directly and have a discussion about something that bothered you.
It’s easier to spread a negative experience on Facebook, instead of going directly to the source or person who could have taken your feedback and directly impacted the service for next time.
It’s easier to complain that you don’t feel confident, than to actually take the steps and time required to build it for yourself.
Negativity will always be the easy way out. It takes strength, focus, and determination to practice positivity in your daily life.
So, take an assessment of your attitude. Right now, even. What’s it like?
Have you had any “glass-half-full” moments today? Or is the glass bone dry with not even a splash of fullness?
When something “happens to you”, how do you react? Is your initial reaction negative? Neutral? Positive?
You can already start to change your attitude by thinking about things in a different way. After all, as Wayne Dyer says: “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change”.
Next time you think something is happening “TO you”, change the narrative. Choose to be positive. Choose to have a splash in your cup. Choose to perceive these things as happening “for you” and not “TO you”.
Appreciate where you’re at. Appreciate where you’re going. Appreciate where you’ve been.
Use appreciation as a tool to improve your mental default, and step closer to living in a positive, or even neutral state of being.
Stop focusing on the negative. The law of attraction says that what you think about, grows.
So, where do you spend most of your time thinking? In the negative pool? Chances are, if that’s true, “negative things” will keep “happening to you”.
Appreciate the lessons and move forward.
GROW through life, don’t just GO through it.
How does all that make you more confident?
Positivity breeds confidence. I have never once met a negative person who is brilliantly confident.
Because negativity breeds doubt. Self-loathing. Self-sabotage.
So what choice are you going to make?
Appreciate something. Anything. Small, big, inside, outside, over there… create some space for appreciation.
You will never regret it!